“Yesterday, for the first time I spanked my daughter! Horror! I still get goosebumps thinking about the incident. At the same time, I was calming my mother down, offering her my calmness even though I was boiling inside.”
Sharing with permission from Kate’s mom.
Let me start from the beginning:
My daughter, Kate went for a walk yesterday with her grandmother (my mother). It was summer; flowers were in bloom, and there were no children in the park, so Kate and Grandma decided to take a small bike ride. They walked with the bike and observed fish ponds. Kate would pedal a bit and stop, waiting for Grandma to catch up.
This was a pedestrian-safe zone: playgrounds, soccer fields, baseball fields, and bike paths. It was hot, so Kate and Grandma felt tired and turned back toward home. Suddenly my daughter changed course, she left Grandma and pedaled away as fast as she could without stopping or turning around. Grandma ran after her. She cried, ‘Stop! Stop!’ No response. The pedestrian zone ended and the busy road was just around the corner! My mother could not see her granddaughter. She ran, but could not catch up with her. Grandma finally reached Kate at the entrance to our home.
When I opened the door, I saw two crying people: Grandma with trembling hands and Kate complaining that Grandma had scolded her. When I realized what had happened, I was already ill! How Kate crossed the busy street – nobody knows. She said that she waited until there were no cars. Then I could only hope that she traveled on the sidewalk along the road to our house. We have heavy traffic around our place.
Out of fear, I spanked Kate and put her in a corner. Soon of course I gave Kate a drink of water and a hug. She cried and promised she would not do that anymore. My daughter is only 3 1/2 years old!
In the evening when Grandma called, Kate answered the phone. Kate immediately said, ‘I will not do that again!’ It was a great stress for all of us; at night we slept poorly.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? Would you be able to remain calm?
Do you ever punish your children?
As we reach the end of this heartfelt story, I invite you to reflect on the emotions and challenges faced by the mom in this letter.
Parenting can be a complex and overwhelming journey, filled with moments that test our patience and evoke strong reactions.
It is understandable that the incident described left Mom feeling horrified and shaken. In the face of potential danger, she acted out of fear and concern for her child’s safety. However, it is also evident that she quickly realized the need for comfort and reassurance, offering her daughter a drink of water and a hug.
Now, I ask you, the readers, to consider what you would do if you found yourself in the mom’s shoes. How would you navigate the delicate balance between ensuring your child’s safety and maintaining a calm demeanor? It is a thought-provoking question that challenges us to reflect on our own experiences and values as parents or caregivers.
Parenting is a journey unique to each individual and family, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Discipline, in various forms, is a topic that can evoke differing opinions and practices. I encourage you to share your thoughts on this matter and engage in respectful dialogue.
Let us remember that parenting is a continuous learning process, and we all face moments of confusion and doubt. It is essential to offer support and empathy to one another as we navigate the challenges and joys of raising our children.
In closing, I extend my warmest wishes to all of you on this remarkable and sometimes demanding journey of parenting. May you find strength, understanding, and a community that uplifts you.
For more information about RIE® Parent-Infant Guidance™ Classes please, email or call me.
Photo: My friend’s daughter role-playing for the story
Warmly,
Teacher Kira
