Scanning old pictures

We’re under lock-down and there’s finally all the time in the world to be productive. Yet, even though there are so many things I feel like I *should* be doing, for some reason, I don’t feel like doing any of them…

So to make sure I’m doing *something* useful, I looked into one of my special to-do lists called, “When I Finally Have Time.” Well, I guess now’s a good time to start checking it off.

The first thing on my list was to scan and digitize my old family photos. I’ve always loved taking pictures and making photo albums, but I haven’t looked at them in such a long time! And now with the lockdown, it’s a fresh, new discovery. Looking at the photos gave me a clear idea of where my focus was, what was important to me and how I valued my time back then.

Here is my daughter feeding a doll – I remember thinking how I wanted to make sure she would have a lot of time, space and opportunities to play – I smiled, I feel like I made the right choices here …

Here is my daughter making a project – It looks too well-organized and “perfect” – Darn, did I help her? Was it needed?  – I cringed, maybe I helped her too much …

Here we are together, so happy and laughing, laughing – It’s so genuine and real! – I smiled again

Here we are opening gifts – looks like I never found time to use that clay set – Ah, priorities, priorities… – I am sad that I didn’t make the time …

Here is my daughter wearing a costume made by my grandma – Wow, how creative and special – I cry…

Some of the photos evoked feelings of nostalgia, familiarity, and warmth, while others made me want to skip over them because I was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions — did I make the right choices? Back then, during all that time, I would wish I had a crystal ball to look into the future, to see what was most important in life. It often seems like major events, big decisions, perfect vacations, and extensive projects are the most important things in life, yet our lives are built from the smallest memories and from the smallest everyday decisions. Although I stressed over some of the choices I made in the past, I have to remind myself that throughout all of it, I did learn to slow down and be present with my daughter, and to enjoy the little details of everyday life.

Wishing you all the best in the difficult yet exciting journey of parenting!


Teacher Kira

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