Pregnancy is not only a time for your baby to grow and get ready to be born—it’s also a time for parents to prepare themselves to welcome a new person into their lives.
Many parents begin by buying a crib, the perfect stroller, and cute baby clothes. Others sign up for classes about childbirth or early childhood development. While these are all valuable steps, they might not be the most essential place to start.
I once spoke with Yulia Turchaninova—an educator, educational researcher, and homeschooling expert. She emphasized that preparing for a baby is crucial—but even more crucial is how we prepare.
Yes, we need information about development and how to care for a baby—but that might not be the first place to begin.
Rethinking Preparation: Where to Start
Believing that others know better than you can be overwhelming—and even harmful. It often pushes parents to hire many specialists and seek out conflicting advice, which can leave them feeling less confident.
Yulia suggests looking at preparation from a different perspective:
1. Reflect on the People Around You
Ask yourself: Whose personality traits would I love my child to have—and why?
- “My dear friend Susie means the world to me, but I don’t actually want my child to be like her—why is that?”
- “I admire Doris’s calm confidence. I hope my child has some of those qualities—why does that matter to me?”
Are you hoping your child will be a genius—or is your focus more on raising someone who is authentic and independent? What does authentic mean to you?
Here are some questions to explore, either alone or with your partner:
- Are you planning to parent like your parents—or very differently? Why?
- What memories stand out from your childhood?
- What seemed most important to your parents?
(It’s often what they did, not what they said.) - When you observe friends’ parenting styles, how do you feel?
- How much freedom and how much direction do they give their children? What’s your reaction?
- What cultural or family expectations influence your parenting beliefs?
2. Build Your Own Village
Create a support system that works for you.
- Maybe it’s a friend with a baby the same age—you can rest, talk, and take turns helping each other.
- Maybe it’s a neighbor or local “grandma” figure who offers a break or a listening ear.
Burnout is one of the biggest challenges in early parenthood. You don’t have to do it alone.
3. Embrace the Image-Making Stage
Even though reality rarely matches our plans, thoughtful preparation still matters.
You’re getting ready for:
- The birth,
- The connection,
- And the realization that this is a separate, unique person you are bringing into the world.
Ellen Galinsky called pregnancy the “image-making stage”—a time when parents begin imagining what kind of parent they want to be.
So, take a moment to ask yourself:
- What special memories from your childhood do you want to pass on?
- What traditions do you want to continue with your children?
Wishing You the Best
This journey is not easy, but it’s full of discovery, love, and growth.
Wishing you strength and joy as you prepare for the arrival of your little one.
Let me know if you need more information about RIE® Parent-Infant Guidance™ Classes.
Warmly,
Teacher Kira
